


missing you and finding you

by harryswilde



Category: Naruto
Genre: Dry Humping, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Time, Frottage, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, M/M, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:40:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27758551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/harryswilde/pseuds/harryswilde
Summary: First part is about Sasuke missing Naruto (before their fight, when he's still training with Orochimaru)TW: depictions of self-harmSecond part is after their fight, when Sasuke is travelling and meets Naruto in a lonely Inn.
Relationships: Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto
Kudos: 69





	1. Chapter 1

The heat in Orochimaru’s underground caves is stifling, and there’s a certain odour that’s always lingering about the narrow corridors - a smell of dried blood and scales, and of muddy sand. 

The oxygen down here also isn’t that great and it took Sasuke months of getting short-breathed prematurely and collapsing during training sessions with the snake sage, before his body finally seemed to adjust to it. 

Even now, as he’s sitting propped up in his hard, uncomfortable make-shift bed, his mind feels muddled, and his limbs numb. 

There’s a monotone drip of subterranean water building a little puddle next to his bed. He glances at it, only to recoil from it immediately. 

His face looks pale and sunken in, his usually pitch black eyes are matted and grey. 

His weakness disgusts him.

Every day he tries to chase it away, get stronger by taking hours of over-exercising his muscles and swinging his Katana. Orochimaru may be creepy and evil, but Sasuke can feel the strength radiating off him, the wisdom acquired by any means possible. 

He knows Orochimaru can make him strong, and that’s the only reason why he’s here. 

To get stronger, and to avenge his dead family by killing his brother Itachi. 

His mind is filled with swirling hatred for him, a hatred that also sits hotly coiling in his stomach. It’s always there, and never goes - a constant reminder that every hurdle he puts himself though will eventually be worth it. 

But as Sasuke sits there and stares dazedly at the opposite wall, just for a few seconds, that hatred, the darkness residing within himself, seems to slip. 

It gives way to a miniscule sliver of light - and a face pops into his head. The face of Naruto, glaring up at him. 

He’d changed so much since the last time Sasuke had seen him, he’d grown quite a bit, gained muscles, and his eyes seemed to burn even more brightly with that undeterred willpower of his. 

And even though Sasuke absolutely loathes himself for it, he knows the pang in his heart happens because he misses him. 

He misses him so much. Sometimes he wishes he could just leave, do something, anything to get close to Naruto. He needs him. 

With an angry grunt, Sasuke clenches his eyes shut, burying his nails in his thighs until they burn. 

It doesn’t help the pain in his heart. It only grows as more images flood his brain, images of Itachi. Of Itachi before he’d killed his whole family, of Itachi, the bigger brother he’d so admired and loved. 

He can still feel how it was like to be carried by him, how safe and loved he’d felt. 

How could Itachi have changed into such a monster? How could his gentle bigger brother have become his worst enemy?

Much to his dismay, tears start burning behind Sasuke’s eyelids. 

This hasn’t happened in many years, and it makes Sasuke boil with anger and disgust at himself. 

The fact that after all this time of getting stronger and gaining power, he still let himself get that weak. 

And yet the child in him just wishes Naruto was here, and that Itachi would simply come through this door and guide him home.

Sasuke can’t take it anymore. He shoots to his feet, eyes ripped wide open and desperately searching for something to relieve the pain.

His gaze lingers on some kunai on the ground, their sharp edges glinting in the dimmed light. 

He picks one up, tracing his finger over the blade.

This will do. 

Sasuke sits back in his bed, straightening his spine in the way Orochimaru had told him to do it. He clenches his eyes shut against all the pain and the longing for those people that had once meant so much to him, picks up the kunai and settles it against the fine skin over his lower arm. 

He hesitates only for a second, before he cuts. With half-lidded eyes he watches the warm blood flow over his arm and drip onto the ground. 

An unexpected sigh leaves his lips and he cuts again, in a neat line right next to the first one. 

He does it a few more times, tracing crimson stripes over his milky skin, until he can feel his pain drain, the images of Itachi and Naruto fading with every new drop of blood. 

Sasuke barely feels any pain from it, only the relief that floods him once the ache of his longing is gone. 

He is absolutely no stranger to wounds, so he knows how to disinfect and wrap them up cleanly, ruling out any nasty infections or unnecessary scarring. 

As he’s curled up in bed he can feel his arm crawl and itch, but he’s glad for the sensation. He can feel his mind go numb again, until the hatred is able to flow back and flood his veins, and his thoughts darken and dull with every beat of his heart, 

And yet, just before he drifts off to sleep, he imagines for a split second Naruto’s warmth next to him, his head leaning against his chest. 

Naruto pressing a kiss to his cheek, catching a warm tear with his lips. 

He wishes he were here with him. 


	2. Chapter 2

2 years later

Sasuke’s muscles ache from walking all day, phantom pains shooting up the stump underneath his shoulder, from where his nervous system still seems to think his arm has just been severed from. 

In fact, it’s been nearly a year.

A year has passed since Naruto and he fought their final battle, and sacrificed both their arms in turn. If you asked him now, Sasuke couldn’t tell you if he actually meant to kill Naruto.

All he knows is that during their fight, his desire to be strong and to be engulfed in his numbing darkness was his ultimate desire. 

He wanted to be able to gain as much power as possible, to avenge everything Konoha had done to his clan, his family, his brother. 

And for this strength, he knew he needed to sever his ties with Naruto, because Naruto was his last weakness. 

The last hurdle that still lay in his way. 

Now it feels like there’s no real aim in his life anymore. He’s been travelling the world for months, trying to make sense of everything, trying to see things without a vision clouded by hatred and a desire for vengeance. 

He’s been trying to see things as they are. But most of all, he’s been trying to forget Naruto, and to forget what he told him when they lay next to each other, half-bled to death. 

When I see you get wound up in all these things and get hurt, in a way it… kind of hurts me too. It hurts so much, I simply can’t ignore it. 

Back then, those words ended Sasuke’s erratic quest to sever all his ties. He realized as much as he’d try, Naruto would never let him. He would never let Sasuke cut his ties to him. 

Sasuke’s so lost in his thoughts, he nearly doesn’t spot the inn he’s passing by. The soft inviting glow of its windows however, reminds Sasuke of his tired limbs, and he decides to turn in for the night. 

A little bell dings as he enters, and he’s immediately swallowed by a pleasant, warm gust of air, smelling faintly of rice and hot booze. 

He passes the entrance to the small, adjacent bar to get to the front desk, when he suddenly stops dead in his tracks. 

There’s a young man at the bar with striking blond hair, gazing into a steaming cup of tea. 

Sasuke feels his heart pound in his chest. 

Surely it couldn’t be…?

He dares to take a few steps closer, knowing just how ridiculous he must look, creeping up to some guy at the bar. 

As he comes closer, he can spot the unmistakable traces on Naruto’s cheek, and something in him makes him want to bolt out of the bar right then. 

How on earth could he approach Naruto after that long?

He’s about to turn on his heels, when the bartender’s voice interrupts his erratic train of thought.

“Good evening, Sir. Can I get anything for you?”

Sasuke nearly draws his Katana. 

“No… no thank you.” He murmurs, hoping Naruto doesn’t hear him. At this point, he’s only sitting inches away from him.

Of course, Naruto’s head whips around the second he catches Sasuke’s words. 

Time seems to freeze as their eyes meet, both widened in surprise. 

“Sasuke?” Naruto asks, disbelief written all over his face. “Is that really you?”

Sasuke nods awkwardly, feeling his cheeks heaten. 

“God, I haven’t seen you in forever!” Naruto stands up abruptly, closing the distance between them to wrap his arms around Sasuke. 

Sasuke stumbles a little, sneaking up his one hand to pat Naruto’s back. 

He notices plainly that Naruto seems to have two arms again, so he must have gotten some kind of prosthetic limb. 

The hug shouldn’t feel weird, since they are officially best friends, but Sasuke’s mind still can’t catch up to the fact that a few minutes before he was missing the person whose blond hair his face is now buried in. 

He’s so close he can smell him - a whiff of apple shampoo mixed with Naruto’s own distinctive scent. 

When Naruto detaches himself from him, he stealthily wishes they were still hugging. 

Naruto smiles at him, making the whiskers on his cheeks dance. He pulls on Sasuke’s arm. 

“Do you wanna have a drink with me? I just ordered some tea, but we can get some food if you’re hungry.”

Sasuke nods, letting Naruto guide him to an empty table. He’s not actually hungry, but he can feel something else tug at his insides, a feeling that makes him want to stay next to Naruto for as long as possible before they’ll inevitably part ways again. 

The waiter comes over to bring Naruto’s tea, and Sasuke simply orders the same thing. Their knees touch as they sit facing each other, and Sasuke can study Naruto better now that they’re close. 

Worry settles in him, as he sees that Naruto looks much paler than usual, deep circles having formed underneath his eyes.

But if he’s feeling exhausted, he doesn’t let it show.

“So how have you been all these months?” Naruto asks in an excited tone, blue eyes sparkling as they always have. 

“Pretty good,” Sasuke lies, the desire to talk about his travels being the last thing on his mind right now. 

“But how have you been? I see you have a new uhm… arm.” He remarks, wanting to change the topic as quickly as possible. 

“Oh yeah that thing,” Naruto drops his hand to his left arm, which Sasuke can see now is completely bandaged up. 

“Grandma Tsunade was able to make it out of some cells she had stored. Maybe she can make you one too?”

“Maybe..:” Sasuke murmurs, before an awkward silence stretches in between them. He doubts anyone in Konoha would want a war criminal to return back to the village.

Luckily for him, Naruto takes over the conversation then, mostly recounting notable incidents that have happened to him on past missions. While Naruto talks, Sasuke watches him, and he can feel warmth spread in his stomach at the sound of his ever so familiar, bubbly voice.

He hasn’t heard it in so long. 

Naruto seems to relax more as time goes on, cheeks even gaining back some of their color. 

Sasuke’s suddenly very aware of just how long their knees have been touching, when the waiter comes over to tell them the bar will be closing soon.

He doesn’t want Naruto to leave. Not just yet. 

But Naruto pays for their drinks anyway, since apparently being a jounin now also means earning more for his missions. 

Sasuke’s glad for it, feeling only a few leftover coins in the bags of his garments. His money would have only lasted for one night at the inn anyway, and after that, he would have had to start camping again. 

They stand next to each other in front of the closed bar, shuffling their feet, and not knowing how to possibly say goodbye to each other. 

Then, Naruto gets an idea. He grabs Sasuke’s arm, pulling him over to the front desk. 

The clock on the wall behind it signals it’s nearly midnight.

“What do you say, we get a room together and spend the night here? I was going to sleep here anyway, since it’s way too late to head to Konoha now;” Naruto asks, blushing. 

Sasuke doesn’t even have to think about his answer. He wants to - needs to stay close to Naruto for as long as fate will let him.

That’s why Naruto pays for a room on the first floor, and they both stumble up the stairs, Naruto’s hand still on Sasuke’s arm.

They exchange secret smiles as they walk up to their room - number 14 - . Both infinitely glad they haven’t had to part ways yet.

Their room is quaint and small - jade-green tapestry and a wooden drawer in one corner - one single bed in the other. The full moon outside lends the room just enough light that neither of them feel the need to turn on the electric light.

“There’s only one bed,” Sasuke remarks uselessly, following Naruto to its fluffy covers.

“I know… but I figured one bed is better than sleepingbags anyway,” Naruto says, sitting down on the bed. It creaks slightly as he does so.

“Besides I didn’t have enough money left for two beds.” Naruto blushes. “Is that okay for you?”

“Sure,” Sasuke chuckles fondly, rejoicing internally as he feels the soft mattress underneath him. He’s slept on hard wooden ground far too often lately. 

There’s a certain heat in his stomach too, and it grows every time he feels Naruto’s touch on him. 

They sit next to each other quietly for a bit, room filled with only their breaths. 

Then, Naruto takes Sasuke’s hands into his.

“Sasuke,” Naruto whispers, gaze cast downward. 

Sasuke’s breath catches in his throat at how serious Naruto’s voice sounds all of a sudden, blood pounding in his ears.

“You have no idea how much I missed you,” Naruto splutters, lifting his eyes to meet Sasuke’s. 

“Every fucking day I have missed you so much it hurt. Every day I have pictured your face and I’ve wished for you to be with me, and now you’re actually here.” Naruto’s eyes glaze over, and his voice breaks on the last word. He clasps Sasuke’s hand more tightly. 

“Please don’t leave again,” his tone becomes more desperate, and he presses Sasuke’s hand against his chest. 

Before Sasuke can answer, he throws himself against him, circling his arms tightly around Sasuke’s neck and burying his head underneath Sasuke’s chin. 

“I need you to be with me,” his muffled voice comes somewhere along Sasuke’s collar bone.

Sasuke brings his hand up to bury it in Naruto’s dark pullover, crumpling it. 

Hearing those words come from Naruto, someone who just like him, so seldomly shows any profound weakness, makes his heart ache. 

But in a way it also feels so reassuring and relieving like nothing has in a long time, and Sasuke breathes a wavering gasp, fighting against a swell of tears. 

Naruto missed him.

“I missed you too,” Sasuke whispers, nuzzling into Naruto’s blond hair. “So much.”

They remain tangled up in each other like this for some minutes, Sasuke’s arm rising and falling as Naruto breathes deeply. 

Then, the sheets rustle as Naruto lifts his head and pulls his legs up, flanking Sasuke’s thighs with his knees. He puts a hand to Sasuke’s cheek.

“So you won’t leave then?” He asks, a soft smile on his lips. 

Sasuke can feel himself flush deeply. They’ve never touched each other like this - Naruto’s hand on his face and his body between his legs. But it feels too good, too warm for him to care.

Sasuke nods slowly, trailing his gaze over Naruto’s face that is so close to his. 

He doesn’t have any fixed plans for his travels, but right now, nothing sounds better than staying with Naruto for as long as possible. 

Naruto smiles and flushes happily. “Good. I wouldn’t have accepted any other answer anyway.”

Sasuke chuckles, feeling a heady rush at seeing Naruto so happy. 

“You can be pretty convincing if you want to be.”

“You’re right,” Naruto giggles, laying his arm onto Sasuke’s shoulder. 

They’re so close now Sasuke can feel Naruto’s breath fan over his cheek. His heart makes a summersault, hammering against his chest.

Their eyes lock, and Sasuke can hear Naruto whisper something.

“Can I kiss you?”

Sasuke only manages to nod dazedly, before their lips meet. At first they’re both tentative, but then they start to notice how good it feels, and Sasuke sighs as Naruto opens his lips a little, allowing him entrance. 

Sasuke feels heat rise to his chest and his face, and it makes him bring his hand up to tighten it in Naruto’s hair, pulling him closer.

The room is filled with the wet sounds of their lips sliding together, the rustle of the sheets as Naruto leans into him to drive a hand down his chest and settle it on his ribs. 

Their noses press into each other’s cheeks, and they only part to catch their breaths before their tongues are touching again.

Through the haze in his brain, Sasuke wonders briefly how on earth they’ve never done this before.

It’s so much better than sparring with each other, even though it’s kind of similar, their bodies and tongues fighting a battle of their own. 

Sasuke’s hyper aware of all the points where they’re touching, especially Naruto’s hips on his lower abdomen, hot and demanding, and his hand that slowly sneaks up on his bare skin, grazing over each of his ribs and sending prickles down his spine.

“Naruto,” he gasps in between kisses, trying to get his attention.

Naruto looks at him panting heavily, flushed down to his collarbones and blond hair mussed up. His blue eyes are glazed over with a heated, raw emotion.

Sasuke doesn’t need to say anything, because Naruto already knows.

It’s not enough. They need to be able to feel everything of each other, with nothing in between them. Bared, and open.

Sasuke starts by pulling Naruto’s sweater over his head, and the latter sighs in relief as if the clothing’s been too hot on him anyway.

Sasuke’s eyes glide over Naruto’s body greedily, taking in the stretches of tanned, weathered skin, his toned muscles and the hardened nipples.

It’s such an obvious sign of how much he wants this too, and it makes Sasuke’s insides tingle. He stretches out a hand to trace it over Naruto’s chest, starting by his crimson-colored neck, down over his pectorals to his abs.

Sasuke smiles fondly as goosebumps spread all over Naruto’s skin under the tips of his fingers. Naruto groans as his fingernail catches on a nipple.

“Off,” Naruto mutters plainly, impatiently, grabbing the hem of Sasuke’s shirt.

Sasuke’s still caught up in the muscles rippling underneath Naruto’s skin, when he hears him breathe a trembling gasp.

“Sasuke…”

Icy shock zaps through his veins, when he feels Naruto take his wrist into his hand. 

His scars. 

In the heat of things, he totally forgot about them.

He almost wants to pull back his arms, pretend like Naruto never saw anything. This probably just ruined everything, he thinks ashamedly, feeling the heat of humiliation as he casts down his eyes. 

But when he dares to look up, Naruto doesn’t look disgusted. He doesn’t look disappointed either. There’s just this deeply concerned look on his face, his brows that are crumpled up in worry, that makes Sasuke’s chest ache. 

It reminds him briefly of how his mother used to look at him when he was very young and had scraped his knee on the ground. He hasn’t felt what it feels like to have someone worried about him in a long time. 

That’s why he doesn’t pull back. Their eyes meet, and Naruto seems to understand that he’s not ready to talk about this part of himself yet. 

Instead, he brings Sasuke’s arm up to his lips and presses a gentle kiss to his wrist, right where many fine, puckered scars are littered over his milky skin.

Sasuke wasn’t expecting the gesture, and he has to swallow hard against the tears welling up in him. He feels himself choking up, as Naruto strokes over his arm nearly reverently, bringing up his hand to brush his knuckles softly against Sasuke’s cheek. 

“Do you still want to do this?” He whispers.

Sasuke nods, feeling a warm tear run over his face despite his efforts. 

Naruto catches it easily with the pad of his thumb.

One second later, they’re kissing again.

And it’s slower this time, not as heated, but all the more intense. 

Their naked, sweaty torsos slide against each other, Naruto pushing Sasuke into the covers and into a lying position, grabbing his hair in his nape and pulling him infinitely closer. 

There’s nothing in between them anymore now, physically and literally - except their clothed legs, but neither of them has the willpower anymore to separate long enough to remove them. 

Heat coils in Sasuke’s stomach as Naruto’s erection grinds into him, and they both groan when they rub right against each other. They try to meet that point every time Sasuke bucks his hips into Naruto, and their kisses become that much more sloppy. 

The friction is so toe-curlingly good but still not enough, so Sasuke spreads his legs further, wrapping them around Naruto’s knees. It gives them just the right angle, and after a few more thrust, Sasuke feels the tight coil release

. 

He moans brokenly into Naruto’s neck, holding onto fisfuls of Naruto’s sweaty hair, as wetness spreads between them. Seconds later, Naruto comes as well, groaning and scratching his nails down Sasuke’s back. 

He collapses onto him. They remain in a tangled mess of limbs as they calm their panting breaths. 

After some minutes, Naruto staggers to his feet and to the small bathroom in their room, to get something to clean themselves off with.

“Here.” He throws Sasuke a towel, grinning. “To clean yourself.”

They both make quick work of removing the stickiness between their legs, but they don’t bother searching for anything else to wear.

Exhausted, they drop back into bed next to each other. 

“That was amazing,” Naruto whispers. Sasuke can only nod in agreement. 

The moonlight casts shadows of Naruto’s eyelashes onto his cheeks and washes his skin silver. If Sasuke’s mind wasn’t so muddled and sleepy, he may consider pressing kisses all over him, especially the small spot under his eyes where his whiskers begin. 

“We should do this again,” Naruto mumbles, rolling over to sneak a hand around Sasuke’s torso. They get themselves into a comfortable cuddling position, Naruto pressed flush against Sasuke’s back. 

He presses a sleepy kiss to the base of Sasuke’s neck. 

“I’m so glad we found each other again,” he whispers into his hair, and Sasuke wants to answer, he really does, but his brain is too tired to produce words. 

Instead, he intertwines their fingers, pulling them close to his chest and sighing contentedly.

It seems to be enough for the both of them, and they drift off to sleep with relaxed smiles on their faces. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hii!  
> Thank you so much for reading, please let me know in the comments if you liked this!
> 
> Kudos and comments are always so appreciated ❤
> 
> Thank you again for reading and have a great day! ❤


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